PTSD

Recently in school I have been learning a lot about war.  In history, we learned about World War I and now we are learning about World War II.  In English we are learning about the effect war has on the people that are involved with it.  Our weekly letter for this past week was about a woman named Margret.  Margret fought in World War II but when she came back, she wasn't the same.  Her family took care of her for a while but eventually they had to place her in a local residential care facility.  They visited Margret often but she never again was the person she was before the war.

We were asked a few questions after reading this story so I would like to answer them here.


What would you have done if you were Margret's parents?

I think I probably would have done the same thing that they did.  I would have done my best to take care of her but if it got to a point where I could barely take care of myself, I would feel better knowing she was somewhere where she could receive the adequate help she deserved and needed.

What would you have done if you were her doctor?

If I was Margret's doctor, I would have made sure that she got the type of help she needed.  If she needed therapy or medication I would have recommended it.  I'm not quite sure the extent of help a normal doctor can give so this question is a little difficult to answer.

What would you have done if you were her sister/brother?

If I was Margret's sister I would have made sure she was in a situation that was best for her.  I would have probably been happy knowing she was with our parents.  But later when she had to go the institution, I would have been happy knowing she was being well-taken care of there too.  I would have gone to visit her often if I didn't live where she was staying.

How do you think Margret felt with her parent's choice of putting her in an institution?

I don't really know Margret well enough to know how she would have felt.  If she was the type of person that liked to be independent, I'm sure every situation was uncomfortable for her since she needed someone's help.  But if she was someone who knew she needed help, but just didn't want to be a burden, she was probably glad she was giving her parents a little more room.

Would you rather live in an institution and be taken care of or live at home and have to take care of yourself?

I think I would probably rather live in an institution and be taken care of.  As much as I would like to say I would like to be independent and take care of myself, I know I would get very frustrated not being able to do certain things on my own.  I would try to have some level independence, however, if I did live in an institution.  And then hopefully I would only need the help at the institution if it was absolutely necessary.  Also, living in an institution could provide certain facilities of help that would be harder to access elsewhere.



Thank for reading!  If you know anyone with PTSD that you think needs some aid, talk to someone about it.  You never know the internal battles someone could be facing.

This week Middy Vogel asked us to make up a story about an antihero that reflects our own personal flaw.  Our character needs to have a superpower that correlates to that flaw and an event where the character uses their superpower to "save the world".

My character's name is the Incredible Impulsive Isabel.  Isabel is an average woman.  She works in a cubicle calculating the amount of product that is sold in some big run-of-the-mill cooperation.  Isabel's job is usually quite slow but when she needs it, she can channel her usual impulsiveness into speed, which she uses to anonymously fight crime.

Isabel sighed as she turned off the light at her desk.  Nothing interesting happened today.  But that wasn't a surprise.  Isabel gathered her things and left the building in which she was trapped in everyday.  The day was finally over!  Isabel started towards home when she heard the faint cry of someone in the distance calling for help.  Without even giving herself a second to process what she was doing, or what she could be getting herself in to, the Incredible Impulsive Isabel zipped off in the direction she heard the noise.  When she arrived to the scene, the Incredible Impulsive Isabel was a little shocked at what she saw.  There was a man in a hoodie pointing a gun at an old woman, telling her to hand over her purse.  Not even realizing what she was doing, Isabel ran faster than the speed of light towards the hooded man and knocked the gun out of his hand.  Then she pushed him against the wall, before he even realized what was happening, and knocked him out.  She did all this in a matter of 30 seconds.  Isabel left as quickly as she came, and the old woman called 911 immediately, never getting to thank her speedy savior.

Thanks for reading :)

Passing Moments

Today at my regatta I thought a lot about how each moment is fleeting and how every moment eventually becomes a memory.

I think it's so strange to think about how what I'm doing right this second is not going to last forever.  After I finish writing this I am going to get ready for bed and then I am going to go to sleep.  As soon as I say everything I need to say, I am going to stop typing.  I am not going to be typing anymore but I can go back and replay the memory of me typing.

During one of my events today, while I was actually racing, I thought it would never end.  It was so painful and I wanted it to be over while I was doing it.  But then the race finished and we rowed back to shore and put away the boat and it was all over.  I wasn't rowing anymore.  But after, and even right now, I can think about the way that I felt during that race.  

I just think it's so fascinating to think about!

And it can be both positive and negative.  Negative experiences end eventually (in most cases) and then they just become memories that get pushed down into the deepest parts of our minds so we never have to relive them.  But once a good memory is over, we crave to live it again.  We can pull up the memory and re-feel the way we felt and for a moment we can bathe in the goodness that has passed.  

Remember to try to always enjoy every moment, the good AND the bad because you never know how quickly it may end!

I apologize if this post made no sense at all, I'm just trying to put some thoughts into words.

Thanks for reading :) 

Why Do YOU Live?

Two weeks ago Wis Kojohnjaratkul asked us "For what reason do YOU live?".

I find this question pretty difficult to answer.  I live for many reasons.

I live to make my parents happy and proud.
I live to be a good sister.
I live to be a helpful, loyal friend.
I live to do my best in every situation.
I live to make myself happy without bringing anyone else down in the process.
I live so I can make other people's lives easier to live.

I don't know, this question is hard to answer.  I don't know if I'll ever be able to completely answer it.

Rowing Is Pretty Cool

Today my team and I competed in the first day of a regatta called the Long Beach Junior Invitational Regatta.  Tomorrow is the second and final day.  

Since rowing is already constantly on my mind for the time being (just kidding it's almost always somewhere in my thoughts) I thought I would share some interesting facts about rowing itself.  

1. Baron Pierre de Coubertin, founder of the modern Olympics, was a rower.
2. From 1920 until 1956, the USA won the gold medal in the men’s eight at every Olympic Games.
3. There are two different types of rowing: sculling and sweep.  In sculling, the rower has two oars while in sweep, the rower only has one.  There are three different sculling events: the single, the double, and the quad.  There are also three sweep events: the pair, the four, and the eight.
4.  Although it seems like only the arms and back are used, the legs actually do most of the work.  The rower's legs provide power to the oars once they enter the water, the arms and back just finish off the stroke.
5. Most collegiate, club, and international races are 2000 meters.  However, in most high school races the course can vary from 1100-2000 meters.


Those are just some quick facts that barely scratch the surface of this awesome sport but I hope you found them somewhat interesting or enlightening.  If you ever get a chance to pick up some oars and go for a row, I strongly recommend it. 

Thanks for reading! :)

School and College

School is so overwhelming sometimes!!!

Today I took a practice SAT to see how I would do.  It made me think of college which made me think of how I'm going to go to college which made me think of where I'm going to go to college which led me right back to where I started.

I know that every single teenager in the United States is feeling the same anxiety as me but it doesn't really lessen the stress for me.  I WISH I WAS JUST IN COLLEGE ALREADY!!!!

I know that I just have to do my best every day because that's all I can do.  I have to remember that I will feel okay once I graduate knowing that I did all that I could.  If it doesn't turn out completely how I wanted it to, it's okay because I did everything in my power.  I'd rather feel like that than have regrets about something that I did or didn't do.  Only two and a half more years.  That really isn't too bad.  Is it? 

Thanks for listening to this rant, I hope you have a great rest of your break if you're from Mira Costa or just a great weekend in general if you're not.  

Patience???

Lately I have realized the importance of patience.  

More than a few times in the past few weeks I have been faced with situations I did not want to be facing.  I think if I were any younger,  I probably would have abandoned those situations quite quickly.  However, now that I am older, I know running away from your problems does not solve anything.  

I don't know, maybe it's the angst of being a teen or hormones or I am just a person with a very low amount of patience but I have been getting very annoyed lately by the littlest things.  But I think it has been a blessing in disguise because I have been able to practice my patience more and more.

Being able to stay calm has helped me rationalize more and therefore make better decisions.  I think it is extremely important to maintain somewhat of a positive outlook when handling issues.  If you have a negative mindset going in, you are automatically going to have to work harder to better the situation.

Just always remember to be positive and BE PATIENT EVEN IF IT'S REALLY REALLY REALLY HARD!!!!

:) 

An Unexpected Adventure

Today my friend Sophie and I saved a bird!

We were getting ready to row this morning when we saw a bird on the launching dock.  At first I just thought that maybe it was resting but when we were able to get really close to it and it didn't move, I realized something must actually be wrong.

Since it had not moved an inch while we were rowing, we decided to get it some help when we finished our practice.  We called an animal rescue company and they gave us the address of a bird sanctuary in San Pedro.  After we had done some research we realized the bird was a loon.

We put it in a box and then proceeded to drive the loon to San Pedro, all the while checking in on it so make sure that it was okay.  We made it to the bird shelter and gave the loon to one of the volunteers.

Unfortunately, the woman did not let us see the bird once she had taken it from us so we never really got to say goodbye.  It was sort of anticlimactic because we were expecting to be able to see her open the box and witness her checking him to make sure he was okay.  But before we left she did inform us that he seemed to be okay and had no major/obvious injuries.

I have to say although the experience was nothing as I expected it to be, I did feel better knowing that the little loon was not stranded by itself.  Even if he turned out to not be hurt, he was at least able to be fed and be comfortable for a while.

I hope that loon is healthy and safe and I hope he has a long, happy life.




P.S. If you ever see a bird that even might be injured, it never hurts to be a little extra wary.

"Glass Half Empty"

For the weekly letter this week, Halley Wong asked us to write about an unlucky or unfortunate situation in the past.  Then we were asked how we dealt with it and what attitude we had afterwards.  And then looking back now, how would we react and what would we do differently.

Although there have been many unfortunate situations throughout my life, one that always sticks in my head is something that happened in eighth grade.  Although it is not hugely significant in my life, it was an experience that I definitely learned and grew from.  

For science class we were required to make this posterboard and then have a presentation that went along with it, for the unit we were covering at the time.  I, for some unknown reason, saved about 85% of the work until the weekend before it was due.  That Sunday, I was in a panic.  I remember sobbing because I was so overwhelmed.  I knew it was my fault completely, so I was angry too.  But thanks to my mom, I was able to finish the project before Monday.  I ended up not even presenting until Wednesday, which was a little frustrating but it was okay because I didn't have anything to stress about on Monday and Tuesday besides rehearsing.  It worked out because I got a few more days to practice.  

That Sunday, I had been extremely negative towards myself and my situation.  I was very pessimistic about finishing the project.  However, since then I have not procrastinated to that extent since.  Learning from my mistake, I have learned to use my time MUCH more wisely, especially when it comes to a big project like that one.  If I could go back now, I would have forced my younger self to dedicate a little time every night to work on it, instead of saving it all for the last night.  But maybe if I HADN'T procastinated like that, I would have made that mistake again later on.  

Happiness Vs. Unhappiness

A couple weeks ago Audrey Phan asked my class to write three things that make us happy right now.  Then afterwards, write three things that make us unhappy and describe/explain how we can change something to make it better. 

Three things that make me happy are my friends, my family, photography, and rowing.  (I know that's four things but there are so many things in my life that make me happy)

Three things that make me unhappy and what I can change to make it better:

1. Homework.  

I can look at homework in a positive way.  It doesn't have to be looked at like a chore, I can look at it as a learning tool that is going to pay off in the future.

2. Being tired all the time.

Trying to be more time efficient and productive with my schedule can help me get more sleep and thus eliminate my constant weariness.

3.  Taking tests.

Instead of overwhelming myself with multiple tests at once, I should (and will) focus on one test at a time from now on.  I will be more productive if I face one task at a time.  AND THEN if I am less overwhelmed, I will be more happy!

Loss

For this past week's weekly letter assignment, we were told to write about one time we experineced loss and how we coped with it afterwards. 

Last year, when I was a novice rower, one of the the few races we lost was at regionals.  Regionals was supposed to be the time we took home the most important gold medal.  We were pretty much undefeated so far in the season but when we got to regionals everything was different.  The stakes were higher, the conditions were pretty bad, and the course was unfamiliar.  Most of the race went by in sort of a blur, but I remember how defeated we felt afterwards.  We had put every last drop of energy into this race and we didn't even place.  We were so disappointed.  But once regionals were over and we had time to discuss, we realized there was nothing we could have done differently.  We had trained just the way we were supposed to.  We gave the race everything we had.  But outside forces had been against us too, we had gotten the windiest lane and our coxswain was not very good either.  And ever since then, we have all trained just as hard, if not harder, for the upcoming races.  Although at the time we were not happy, everything turned out pretty well in the end.

The Friendship Circle

This past week, Mr. Brown's students were asked by a fellow student to attend a session of the Friendship Circle and to describe our experiences.

I have been to the Friendship Circle a few times before but I've never gotten the chance to speak with any of the kids.  Most of the students who go to Friendship Circle go all the time, so the kids there already know them.  However, this time I wanted to make an effort.

My friend Leah introduced me to a girl named Rita.  Everyone knows Rita, she is quite a popular member of the Friendship Circle.  She is very outgoing and I really hope I get to know her better in the future.

From observing the members at the club, I noticed that all the kids, the special needs students and the students visiting, were all shy at the beginning.  But once they get talking they all open up.  Although some students did not feel like talking to the visitors, they were not rude about it.  They were all very polite and kind.

I think the Friendship Circle is such a great club because it helps not only kids with special needs, but also any kid that just want a friend to talk to.

Humans and Nature

Harmony.  That is the word writers and poets use to describe the way our relationship with nature is supposed to be.  We, as humans, are supposed to respect nature and treat it with kindness.  I think to some extent that is true.  But taking a step back and really analyzing it, humans have not always been too nice Mother Earth.

Humans tend to have a dominant relationship over nature.  We destroy it when it gets in the way, without giving it a chance to fight back.  Humans often forget to appreciate the way nature affects our daily life.  I guess that because of this, when we do realize the beauty in nature, the grandness of it all is greater.

Literature and poetry often discuss the importance of nature to a person and his or her soul.  Characters that were oblivious to it before, have a rude awakening and then suddenly have a deep understanding of nature.  I think that this is probably the way it is in real life for some.  Because nature is often overlooked by humans, it takes an important experience to make a person really have respect for nature.

I don't know.  I might be speaking from a pessimistic point of view.  Perhaps a majority of the world thinks of nature as an equal and I just happen to be in the small minority that believes many humans do not relate to nature as such.  

Challenges and Overcoming Them

For another assignment in English, we were asked to face an issue head on and evaluate what was learned during the process.

A few weeks ago I faced one of the biggest demons a rower can come across in their career.  An erg.  The erg is the land machine that rowers train on when they are unable to row on the water or are just training on land as a supplement.  As a junior rower, there is a competition at the end of January called Erg Sprints.  It is where rowers erg for 2000 meters as hard as they can in a room full of screaming teammates, coaches, and family members.  It is a competition that involves the preparation of the body but also the mind.  My team and I had been training for quite a few weeks before the day arrived.  My training schedule had been right on track.  Physically, I was ready, but mentally I was so unprepared.  During a hard workout like one on the erg, my mind wanders ALL over the place.  I think about all of the things that could go wrong and the things that are going wrong ("my legs hurt", "I can't breathe", etc...).  When the day of the Erg Sprints arrived, I was extremely nervous.  I knew in my heart that I could hit my goal when I sat down to compete but I was still wishing I was anywhere else but on that erg.  I ended up hitting my goal that day.

Looking back now, I realize I had worked myself up for way more than I needed to have.  I was ready and I just needed to remember that.  When it got really hard during the Sprints and I wanted to quit, I just kept going.  I pushed through and it had a fulfilling result.  That feeling after I finished was one of the best feelings in the world.  I had set my mind to something and I reached it successfully.  I had proven to others, but mostly myself, that I can do anything I want if I work hard at it and never give up.

Compassion

A couple weeks ago in English, we were assigned to write down one area of our lives we could be more compassionate.

Here is what I wrote:

I can be more compassionate when it comes to my sister.  Being that we are siblings, we do have the constant sibling bicker within our conversations.  However, I am aware that I do get on my sister's case about things I probably do not need to.  I know that she is a kid so she is going to do kid things.  I have to be more patient with her.  Sometimes I know to be more compassionate, I just have to step back and give her some room.  Since we have both gotten older, we have been able to communicate easier.  But because of this too, we argue more.  I know we'll eventually grow out of it but for the time being, I need to be nurturing and supportive in any way I can.  I have to remember what it was like to be her age (not too long ago) and try and relate.  Although we do have our differences, we have our moments and those are really special.  

My English Final

For English, we are going to have to sing a song in front of our peers.  To say I am nervous would be an understatement.  But I did think that I should discuss the song I am going to be singing and why.

I am going to be singing the song "Youth" by Daughter.  And I am going to convey its connection with the book The Boys in the Boat.

I am going to teach this song and work of literature with a PowerPoint.  I'm going to give a brief overview of the book and the character that is the main focus of the story.  In my presentation, I'm going to connect "Youth" to The Boys in the Boat verse by verse.  That way, I won't have to do it line by line, which could take a very long time.  The song is very metaphorical, so I plan on explaining the metaphors before I connect it to the book.

Teaching this book through the song should prove to be successful, in my mind.  It's a different form of learning a lesson, and I think it will make the audience more inclined to learn about my interpretation of both the book and the song.  I'm going to sing the song first so that the audience knows what the song sounds like, before I begin teaching the lessons.

I chose "Youth" because as soon as I read The Boys in the Boat I immediately thought of it.  The same ideas of a stolen childhood resonate through both the song and the book's main character, Joe.  I think the song contains so much emotion, it would be extremely difficult not to be able to see the connection between both of them.

As anxious as I may be, I am sort of excited to share with the class my song and book that have come to mean a lot to me.